吳銓高 英譯中[散文]浪漫數學

二觉陀

吳銓高 英譯中 [散文]

Romance Mathematics
浪漫數學
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聰明的男人+聰明的婦女 = 浪漫
Smart man + smart woman = romance

聰明的男人+ 愚蠢的婦女 = 婚外情
Smart man + dumb woman = affair

愚蠢的男人+聰明的婦女 = 結婚
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

愚蠢的男人+ 愚蠢的婦女 = 懷孕
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
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辦公室算術
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
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聰明的老闆+聰明的雇員 = 利潤
Smart boss + smart employee = profit

聰明的老闆+ 愚蠢的雇員 = 生產
Smart boss + dumb employee = production

愚蠢的老闆+聰明的雇員 = 升級
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

愚蠢老闆+ 愚蠢的雇員 = 加班
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
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購物數學
SHOPPING MATH
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一個男人, 會為他需要, 但是, 只值10美元的貨物, 而支付20美元。
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.

一名婦女, 會為她不需要, 但是, 卻值20美元的貨物, 而支付10 美元。
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
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一般的方程式和統計
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
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女人擔心自已的將來，直到她找到一位丈夫。
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

男人從來不擔心自已的將來，直到他找到一位妻子。
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

一個成功的男人, 能賺錢的數目, 一定要比他妻子花費的多。
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

一個成功的女人, 就是要找到這樣的一個男人。
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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幸福
HAPPINESS
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和一個男人快樂地在一起，你必須多些了解他, 卻少些愛他。
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and
love him a little.

和一個女人快樂地在一起，你必須多些愛她，千萬不要嘗試去了解她。
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not
try to understand her at all.
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長壽
LONGEVITY
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已結婚的男人比獨身的男人長壽, 但是, 已結婚的男人, 大多數寧願早些死去。
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are
a lot more willing to die.
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改變的傾向
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
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女人和男人結了婚, 期望他會改變，但他總是不改。
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

男人和女人結了婚, 期望她不會改變，而她真的變了。
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change,
and she does.
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討論技巧
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
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女人在任何辯論過程中, 都要最後的拍板權。
A woman has the last word in any argument.

之後, 男人再說甚麼, 將會引起新一輪辯論。
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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怎樣阻止別人向你催婚
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
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老姑婆們, 常常在他人的婚禮中, 走近我, 友善地輕觸我的肋骨,
並且呵呵大笑地，告訴我，"下一位, 你將會是你啦 !"
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs
and cackling, telling me, "You're next."

直到, 在他人的喪禮中, 我用同一番話, 回贈給那些老姑婆,
她們才靜下來。
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.


請把這些訊息, 送給一個需要笑的聰明婦女 !
及一些你認識的聰明笨伯。
SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH
AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT



Romance Mathematics浪漫數學 [完] [中譯 : 二覺陀]
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